I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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