Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
