First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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