At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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