he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
