Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Im part way to drunk.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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