No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
