I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
