Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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