No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize