i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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