i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
