If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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