note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She told me I should be a condom model.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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