You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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