Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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