its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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