So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
