they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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