Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
