But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
