have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
