i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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