Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
