I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize