I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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