Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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