Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
