Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
