You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
