so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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