Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
