i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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