I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm at about main and main street
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
