: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
