remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
