The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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