You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i think my mom watched the whole time
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
