he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
