Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
