if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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