Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize