I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
