my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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