Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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