3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
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Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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