You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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