I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
