it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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