Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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