I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
and she was petting her beer can
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
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