weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
