i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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