i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
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I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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