you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
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drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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